April 03rd, 2018

Parenting Teen`s

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Hang in there it can be a wild ride.
I would always say while zooming down the teenage years lane at 200km per hour that when I left the hospital there was NO manual to say how to be a parent to a teen and what to expect.
I read all the baby books, but I neglected to get the sociology degree that teaches you how to parent a teenager.

As parenting a teenager is challenging it is also challenging for the teen.
It is a time of wanting the independence and freedom to make choices and express who they are. Yes, they will always be your child but parenting needs to change to avoid butting heads and fracturing the relationship.

Teens want to be heard and you may not always agree with their thought patterns.
A good line might be.
That`s interesting I have never looked it at that way, tell me more said with curious voice not condescending voice.

So, many expectations.
So, many emotions.
Both not knowing how to deal with the emotions.
Teens find themselves in a variety of situations and don`t have the tools to work through them.
When emotions are not worked through they can come out in an inappropriate way.

You are both on a journey and changes can happen very quickly.
Feelings can get hurt.

Teens have an identity an are exploring their new roles.
Tips

1. Treat them as an adult
2. Ask for their input (What do you think)
3. Allow them a voice (Even if it isn’t your voice)
4. Compromise
5. Ask don’t tell. (Could you do this it would really help me out)
6. Speak their love language (Gary Chapman)
7. Don`t sweat the small stuff (No need to have the last say)
8. Don`t ignore the risky behaviour (Parenting 101 time to suck it up)
9. Blend parenting and friendship (Parent first)
10. Change your language for challenging behaviour (don’t attack, keep calm)
11. Take time out for yourself
12. Don’t answer straight away. (I’m not sure, I will need to think about it, can I get back to you in an hour or a day? (Ask for permission and give a time frame when they can expect an answer)
13. Question your parenting. (Reflect on your actions just as a teacher would)
14. Am I controlling, bossy, abrupt, dominant. (Personality test https://www.16personalities.com/
15. Cotton ball and hover parenting doesn’t not build trust with your teen.
16. Talk openly at an earlier age so it doesn’t become awaked.
17. Use the correct wording for body parts, it’s a natural

 

1. Don’t tease your child about their changing body.
2. Practise empathy. (I can see this is challenging for you,)
3. Give permission for emotions. (I hear your very upset about that..)
4. Respect: Speak to them as you would want to be spoken to.
5. Create rules together

Last but the most important tell your children you love them even when they are yelling they hate you. I survived and you will also.
for support click below.
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