March 02nd, 2018

How to...

Have a strong actionable voice
Unfortunately, at times people just don’t show respect.
There are many reasons why this would be so.
But it just means we need to go out of our comfort zone and create a plan to address the behaviour of another.
Ideas you might like to try.
Ask yourself was this a one off or does it happen regularly?
If it was a one off, you can choose to ignore or address.
If it has happened more then twice you can assume this is the persons behaviour and will continue.
Have a conversation with the person via face to face or over the phone but not in a text form as text gets lost in translation.
We want the person to see the emotions and know you are serious about their behaviour.
If you are traumatized by the situation you may wish to ask for someone to speak to the person on your behalf.
If this revels no change in behaviour, then an action plan is required for you to step up and take actions.
If this person is someone you don’t require to have contact with then remove yourself from the relationship.
If the person is someone you must work with or a family member then a plan needs to happen to resolve the situation. (Ignoring and avoiding the behaviour does not work)
Journal your emotions and thoughts regarding the person.
Why is this person doing this?
What is it they want?
Why am I allowing it?
How the situation makes you feel
What are the desired outcomes you would like to see happen.
Create an action plan to address the situation.
Write down the dialogue you will use and keep it in your pocket (anchoring your thoughts)
Visualise yourself having the conversation with the person. (practise regularly before the event)
Using a strong actionable voice.
Look directly at the person (eye contact)
This is interesting why are you saying this (questioning)
This is interesting why are you doing this
This is interesting why do you feel you are entitled to
I feel… when this happens (The impact on you)
I would like you to… (request your desired actions)
 
Practise your dialogue in front of the mirror.
Be aware of your body language. (stand up, shoulders back, look at them & strong-arm power poses, stern face)
Use a serious face raising eyebrows, don’t tilt your head sideways (sign of softness & submission)
Say what you need to say.
At the time of conversation set yourself up with supports.
Notes in pocket
An anchor like a piece of jewellery or wear clothes that empower you.
Have an exit plan for after you have said what you need to say.
You don’t need to stay Walk away when you feel
the person is aggressive or in denial.
The power of having a strong actionable voice is incredibly powerful, being heard even if the persons behaviour does not change.
The more you step into your power the less you are a target for bullies & perpetrator.
This is the first step to conflict resolution.
Next step is to take more serious actions if the behaviour continues.
You have the right.
Others do not have the right to make you feel uncomfortable, unsafe, unworthy.
Healthy relationships have respect and boundaries.

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Thanks in advance
cheers Deb


 
 
 

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