March 29th, 2018

Journey with grief

​p-3. Warning content is raw and real 

 
The journey continued as we tried to put one foot in front of another.
Some friends who had young children choose to stay away afraid they would upset us because they had little ones. The loss of friends who struggled to sit in the space of grief was another grief on its own. But the acceptance that not all have the capabilities to do so is quite ok.
People meant well in their comments, but it was tough to keep smiling and hearing that our beautiful daughter who we planned for and was much loved. We heard the words time and time again she is in a better place.
I didn’t get it.. No better place then in my arms I thought.
Years on I had conversations about this and I was told they just didn’t know what to say and thought it was supportive.
 
My advice to those is say just that I am so sorry for your loss or I just don’t have words to say that will heal your heart. I am sorry for your loss.
Grief is different for everyone even if the experience is similar.
We had fantastic support but what was it we needed on our journey.
We had family and friends leave cooked meals at our door and good fairies would come and do the washing and it would magically come off the line and be folded in the laundry. What a blessing.
I started to read books to get clarity I wasn’t going nuts feeling all that was going on in my mind and body. I had a lot of arh moments.
I didn’t always make great choices for my mental health, some days choosing to stay in bed and cry and having an alcoholic drink first thing in the morning to suck up some sunshine in the day.
I quickly released one was not enough and two and then I just went  arr this isn’t working as my daughter pulled on my arm and said mummy get up I`m hungry.
Thankful for her sweet soul in that moment.
I had a purpose right in front of me…
TBC..

Glimpse of normality.
​Our daughter loved her little sister and was never far from her. She loved to sit and watch playschool with her. xoxo
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